Up until yesterday, my belt was the oldest piece of clothing I owned. I acquired it sometime before my 19th birthday. I have had it for approximately 22 and a half years.

This week, I also did some online life-expectancy quizzes. The quiz with the most comprehensive questions gave me a life expectancy of 86 years.

Yesterday, I bought two belts to replace my old and tattered one. Under the assumption that, since two belts will now be doing the work of one, they should last twice as long as the old one, then I yesterday purchased 45 years worth of belt. Since I am now 41 years old, they should last me until, you guessed it, age 86.

Therefore, I should never need to buy another belt for the rest of my life.

Unless I get fat.